I have been dreading taking my older daughter to university since…probably grade 9, to be honest. I’ve imagined the empty room, the vacant spot at the table, the dogs looking sadly at us wondering where the other human has gone. To my surprise, although August and September have been full of emotion, the experience of my child starting university has been surprisingly positive.
The process of applying to, and being accepted at, a university took an impressive amount of our time, energy, and money over her grade 12 year. Standardized testing and applications dominated September to December, and then came acceptances, the occasional rejection, financial aid applications, campus visits and decisions. In the end, she chose Columbia University in the City of New York. We could not possibly be prouder of her, but New York is very far away.
She was assigned a dorm room in late June. Each room is only equipped with the following: a bed, a desk, a chair, and a dresser. A lot of the summer was spent gazing at Instagram images of “the ten cutest dorm rooms” (her), and looking with horror at the two-page Bed, Bath and Beyond list of “dorm room essentials” (us). We bought some room supplies in Vancouver, but mindful of the cost of shipping, we planned to buy most of these “essentials” in NYC.
You might think the days before orientation would be filled with touching family bonding, but that was done at places like College Hardware, the Columbia Bookstore, and the B, B & B on Fifth Avenue. Clothes need hangers, walls need posters, and dorm fridges need filling. Despite the shopping, spending time on the Columbia campus and meeting some of her future floor mates and classmates was truly exciting for all of us.
The last family event on campus is a Convocation ceremony, with speeches by members of the administration. Saying goodbye after this ceremony was hard, although it was probably good that we only had 15 minutes to do so before orientation began. However, my sadness was overwhelmed by my pride in my daughter’s accomplishments and my excitement for what lies ahead. She has now completed orientation and had three weeks of classes. We have gotten texts from her many times a day – with images of the events she’s at, news about the “swim team” she’s organized on her floor, and things she wants to discuss about the Iliad, the first work in their Literature Humanities class. She has also called frequently, maintaining the close relationship we have always had.
So while I miss my daughter and know that December is a long time away, I also know that this was exactly the right decision and she is in the best place she could possibly be. And I look forward to following along on her adventure.
