For some of you first year is over and you are back at home with Ma and Pa. Your year was probably filled with fun, challenges, and new experiences. However, now, it is time to leave the university bubble behind for the summer. I know for me and several of my friends, this was a weird experience the first time around. You spent so much time building a new life and now you have to go back home?
It is all fun and exciting the first few days: being welcomed home with a delicious dinner and seeing all your friends from high school. However, once the shine wears off, it feels kinda bizarre. Here you are, a changed evolved person, right back where you started. So, as usual, I have some advice on how to address two of the most common challenges me and my friends faced returning from first year:
Challenge #1: Parents
It was wonderful to see them at the airport, as you leaped into your mother’s open arms—but now they are getting on you last nerve. Asking you where you are going, telling you what to do, and not treating you like the grown adult that you are! Don’t they know you’re mature now!… Sort of.
Solution:
Ah, parents. You may look in the mirror and see a young adult, but they will always look at you like you are a 4-year-old who plans on being a super-hero-hockey-player-cowboy-princess-teacher when they grow up. So, my first piece of advice is: get used to it. They are always going to worry about you. Love has that effect on people—but that doesn’t mean that you can’t talk to them about some boundaries. When I came home, my parents and I made an agreement (notice that I said “agreement,” meaning a discussion and agreed upon terms). We set a new, more adult curfew—unless I told them I was staying at a friend’s place in advance. We agreed on when I could have friends over and how much notice I had to give them. Now, it did take some adjustment at first—but, a year later, my parents and I will all agree that we love living together. I don’t feel smothered and they don’t worry…. as much.
Challenge #2: Missing Your New Friends
You love seeing your old friends, but you guys lived apart for a year. They don’t know your new life or your new interests—at least not like your friends from university do. You are feeling pretty lonely.
Solution:
Well, the good thing is that we live in the 21st Century—with Skype, Facebook, Facebook Chat, texting, and the good old telephone. You’ll be able to keep in touch with all of your friends from university, no problem. However, that is not the advice I would give you. I would recommend being present. You don’t get to see your friends and family from home for 8 months a year. It’s time to make new memories with them! I found that my friendships evolved so much when I got home. Some people grew more distant, but others grew so much closer. Who would have thought that that peripheral friend and I would have so much in common now?
Coming home can be a big challenge; it can get pretty emotional at some points—but the good thing is that it is challenging for you, your friends, and your parents (Good thing? Yeah, you read that right). It is a good thing because you can go through this adapting period together. So, keep those lines of communication open. Just think how lucky you are to have a beautiful home to come back to and how lucky you are to have a wonderful life you miss. While you are looking forward to next year, don’t forget to enjoy your summer at home.
